Many people live their lives in waiting mode. They’re too busy fantasizing, thinking, and planning for the future, forgetting that life is what is happening right here and right now. This mindset puts their hope into something that is not real, something that has not happened yet. They’re just waiting for a breakthrough, so that they don’t have to live in this present moment anymore. However, the future is a myth. By focusing too much on it, you ignore the true reality, something you’re actually experiencing. Only when you’re happy with the now can you be happy in the future. If you don’t change your mindset, you’ll always live in waiting mode. No matter how much time has passed, you’ll still wish for a better tomorrow, forgetting that the future can only be decided by the way you treat today.

There are 4 types of waiting mode I want to talk about in this blog. I believe you could resonate with one of them, or even all of them. Be careful about the last one, because a lot of people mistake it for being productive, but it’s a trap of life.

1. People who want to escape from life

This is a typical office worker. They always wait for a break, a time when they don’t have to do anything, the time when they can have fun and blow off some steam. When they’re at work, they wait for the lunch break, they wait for 5 PM or their shift to end. Then they wait for their days off, they wait for the weekend. Another type of waiting is for more rewarding events such as their birthday party, waiting for holidays, waiting for vacation. However, these events can only give them a little energy boost. After a while, everything starts coming back to normal, repetitive, and boring. They keep waiting for the next good time, and then when it actually happens, they’re too afraid of coming back to work on Monday or after New Year, so they can’t even enjoy their days off. This is such an ironic cycle.

If you resonate with this one, then you’re trying to escape from life. The reason you wish for the day off so much is because work, to you, is not enjoyable. You see it as a responsibility, something you need to do, not something you genuinely want to do. Some people find their job very draining. After working hours, they’re just exhausted and they feel bad about themselves. This is because when you’re at work, you can’t be your authentic self. You have to wear a mask in order to get along with people. You need to do something you don’t like, wear the uniform you hate, or deal with people you find exhausting. If you don’t feel alive, if you don’t love yourself when you’re working, then unfortunately I have bad news for you: this job is not suitable for you.

When something belong to you, it’s effortless. Of course you still need to do the work, but it won’t torture you physically and emotionally. You’ll feel inspired and excited, even if the job is hard. Only when you work at the wrong place, you have to be fake in order to blend in, because if you don’t, you’ll be isolated. Therefore, any day off where you can take off the mask is a way of escapism. You can be your true self without having to constantly put on a performance.

Each person is different. Some need to escape from work, others are running away from their responsibilities, their family. When your home life is overwhelming, you just want to be anywhere but your home. I’ve met people willing to work overtime because they don’t want to face their nagging wife. I know a boy crashing at his friend’s house all the time because he doesn’t like his parents. I have a friend who never comes home for holidays because she doesn’t want to deal with relatives asking rude questions. Any type of escapism signals something unresolved. There is a hard decision you need to face, or a part of yourself is still in the dark. Only when you shed light on that corner, you’re free from its chains.

Build a life you don’t need to escape from. Do the job you love, surround yourself with true friends and family. If you feel like something is wrong, it’s time to let it go. This is a hard job. It requires time, effort, and bravery. Building a life you enjoy every moment is a lifelong journey. You have to commit to it. Ask yourself: Am I happy with this? If the answer is no, it’s time for a change.

2. People who wait until they’re ready

These are people who have dreams and desires, something they really want, but they’re waiting for the right time. You want to start a TikTok or YouTube channel, but you wait until you lose weight, until you have clear skin, or until you’re more beautiful. You want to quit your current job and start something for yourself, but you wait until you have enough money. You want to ask your crush out, but you’re waiting until you get your braces removed. Even your best dress has to wait for the right event, as if the best time will never arrive in the future.

Let me tell you the truth: you will never be ready enough. Waiting for the perfect time is a trap. The reason you don’t have what you want right now is because you’re not in the same vibration as it. You’re not the version of yourself who has it. If you’re pretty enough or rich enough, you would already be in that position, you would already be there, right? You need to start somewhere, improve yourself along the way until you get to that place. Nothing comes overnight, no breakthrough happens out of nowhere, it’s a process. You have to put in the work to build things up slowly. Until the time comes and your dream arrives. Any successful person you see used to be like you. They started where you are or even lower than you, and they didn’t stop until they reached their position now.

If you’re waiting, you will never feel pretty enough, good enough, or rich enough for that dream. You’ll wait forever. And if you believe in the next life, you’ll keep waiting. Look at yourself 6 months ago. You thought you weren’t ready, right? But look at yourself right now, are you ready? Or is the feeling of not being enough still the same? I know people who wait for years, and after that long time, the reason they have is still the same. They’re not good enough, or it doesn’t feel like the right time. I’m so sick of their excuses.

When you keep procrastinating on something, it’s because you’re lazy, you’re a coward. Any reason you have seems invalid. There are people who start from a lower place than you, people who have no money, people who have disabilities, who can’t walk, see, or talk, but they still make it happen. They chase their dreams and they live them. Why do you keep making excuses? Which I usually hear, and it’s very lame. Some people say their family is against it, some people think they need more time to practice, others are afraid of looking like a fool. I mean, no one even cares about you. Just pull yourself together, get over that self-centered mindset, and just do what you need to do. No one looks at you or your product anyway. Who do you think you are? Chasing your dream is about overcoming your own fear. It’s you and yourself. Other people involved are just the way you make excuses to prolong the waiting time. You’re lazy, you’re a coward. That’s all.

When You Keep Others Waiting, Life Keeps You Waiting

Perfectionists belong to this category as well. Some people rationalize their actions by telling themselves they’re perfectionists. Nope. You are not. Perfectionism means you strive for perfection. This process requires testing and failing. If you don’t let yourself have a chance to fail, if you’re not taking action, then you’re hiding behind that word to justify your laziness and cowardice. Do not compare yourself with Steve Jobs or any famous person, you’re not them. Please, for once, be brave enough to strive for your dream, or you should stop talking about it and live happily as a mediocre person. Do you know bragging about your dream is a way of mental masturbation? You feel good for a while, but after that, you feel the emptiness of nothing happening in your reality. So stop telling everyone what you want and making excuses for why you don’t go for it. Just keep your head down, keep your mouth shut, and do your fucking job, for God’s sake.

I’m sorry for being harsh, but these people usually trigger me the most. Probably because I used to be one of them. I’m angry at them because I’m a procrastinator myself. Now I have learned that hard lesson: stop postponing and take action.

3. People who wait for the right time

Similar to the people waiting for the right time to start their dream, this type is about people who wait for the perfect time for a breakup, divorce, to have a difficult talk, a good time to say no, or to refuse when someone asks for a favor. These individuals are in unpleasant situations, where they just want to break free. However, this usually involves another person. They fear letting someone down or hurting people, so it’s hard to make a decision. This is a tricky situation because if it only depends on yourself like type 2, then you can just start tomorrow. But when you wait for others to be ready, you likely have to wait forever.

When you don’t like something, when you’re suffering in a situation, it’s a sign that you’re not in alignment. Mostly, you suffer in silence, but sometimes, when it reaches the breaking point, you tell yourself that you can’t stand it anymore, and then the words just get stuck in your throat. Instead of screaming “I’m done”, you swallow it down and let it pass this time. Do you know this behavior can cause you blockage, resulting in mental and physical illness if you repeat it for a long time? I wrote a blog before about people who can’t say no, the causes and consequences of this behavior, and how to fix it. You should go and check it out here: If You Can’t Say No, Read This (Break Free From People-Pleasing)

One thing you must remember: if you don’t feel good, if you’re not happy, you can’t bring happiness to others. When you tell yourself that you will suffer, you stay so that your kids, your family, and friends can have a good time, then you’re absolutely wrong. Your miserable energy will ooze through your actions, leaking into your attitude, and people can see it, sense it, and absorb it. As a result, no one has a good time because of you. If you’re brave enough to step down, you open the position up for another person, someone who is suitable, who is happy to be there. If you can’t do it happily, then just quit. No one has to suffer from your half-assed attitude, and you act like you’re doing everybody a favor by staying in that unpleasant situation. Please understand that if you don’t do the job, there are many people willing to be in your position. You don’t need to feel sorry for others; they are actually better without you.

4. People who wait to be happy

This is the biggest lie capitalism has fooled us into believing. If only I can have that dream house, I will be happy. If I have that car, I will be happy. If I reach 1M followers, if I marry my dream husband, if I can move to America, I will be happy. This is an endless trap. If you live a life waiting for the next big thing, then you’ll never be satisfied. There is always a new goal, new desires. This mountain has no summit. Right after you reach the peak, a new mountain appears, and you have to go through the whole cycle again.

You can be happy right now, right here, with everything in front of you. Looking for something in the future means you’re not content with your reality. This puts the focus on what you don’t have instead of being grateful for what you have. In the long run, this mindset creates a lacking mentality. You’ll forever see the negative side of life no matter how much the Universe blesses you. The goal of life, in Buddhism, is that you learn how to be happy with what you have in the current moment. Know that you have everything you need right now. Of course, you can have dreams, you can still contribute to the world’s evolution, but you don’t have to stress yourself on the way. You know what is enough, and the more you have, the more grateful you are for it. If something bad happens, you know it’s a part of life and you have no control over it. Just let it go and keep living your life in peace.

Enlightenment is being happy with what you have, with your version here and now. You’re open to what has to come, and open to what has to go. You don’t put your happiness into the future, into something you don’t have yet. You can choose to be happy right now. It’s your right. You don’t need to wait for anything. You have full power over your life. Know that whatever belongs to you will arrive at the right time. Just do what you have to do, make an effort, work hard, be consistent, then leave the rest to the Universe. After all, there are many things out of our control. We can let them go. Only focus on what is in your control, which means your actions, your emotions, and how you react to the situation. If you want something, go for it. Happiness lies in the process, not in the destination. If you don’t feel inspired in the process, then it’s the wrong dream. You only love the idea of having something or being someone, not the whole version of it. If something is meant for you, you’ll love every single part of it: the hard work, the reward, and the process that comes with it. After all, it’s about taking action. Only by experiencing can you eliminate what is not right for you. Then anything left is your true self. When you’re in love with the journey, you find your authentic version.

When you wait for something, you’re already do it mentally.

When you think about something, you’re wasting your energy on it. For example, you want to start your own business, or you want to break up with your girlfriend. Each time you think about it, you already do it on an energy level. Even if physically you still postpone that action, it’s already been written in the stars. The more you think about it, the stronger it becomes, until it reaches the point where it physically manifests in the real world. So by thinking about it, you predict that it will happen in the future. No matter how much you delay it, if it’s in your mind, it’s only a matter of time until that scenario happens. So even if you hold back a decision, in your mind, you’re already breaking up multiple times. This is tiring. This is exhausting. You can put an end to it by actually taking action.

Of course, you don’t need to do anything you think about. If it’s something immoral, then you have to control yourself. Not all breaking-up thoughts should be manifested. Sometimes, it’s our trauma that wants to run away from reality. I think life unfolds in mysterious ways. A lot is out of our control. If something is meant to happen, there is no way you can escape it. So just do your best, put all of your effort and your mind into what you do, then if it ends, you have nothing to regret.

By going all in, you can rule out that idea, that dream, and you can go for the next one. By staying still, you get stuck at that barrier, and there is no way you can go around it. It’s something you need to experience. Do not be afraid of failure. You will fail, it’s normal. You’ll look like a fool, you’ll make fun of yourself, who cares? If you don’t try, you don’t know. It’s going to be in your mind forever. Unless you do it, then tick a box, and you can move on to the next thing.

People who laugh at you are the ones who don’t dare chase their dreams. People who make it don’t. They were fools by striving for what they longed for, they don’t laugh at you, they will even encourage you.

Life is short. No matter how many things you achieve, you will reach the point where regret hits, and you ask yourself that “what if” question. What if I do this? What if I do that? In the end, you always regret what you didn’t do, not what you did. What you did, no matter success or failure, usually creates happy memories. It carries lessons. You can look back and be proud of yourself for being brave enough to do it. You can look back and laugh at your mistakes. But if you don’t take action, if you don’t do it, that dream life will haunt you forever. I see no good outcome in delaying things. So please, if you want something, just do it. You have nothing to lose, but you have everything to gain.