We’re living in a world where people are trying to conceal their true motives. They beat around the bush, go around things, avoiding uncomfortable conversations because they don’t want to hurt others, or they don’t want to look like a dick. People sugarcoat their words, say whatever they think the person in front of them is happy to hear, in exchange for their own truth and their authentic self. We’re born and raised that way. We bury our own needs to ease the situation, we say yes even if we don’t feel like it, we put ourselves in circumstances where we don’t feel we belong. All of this happens because we don’t know how to say what we want. We avoid that need by going around it, when in fact, just being true to yourself will eliminate tons of problems for you.

When you tell the truth, you release the energy

Your thoughts are a form of energy. When something comes across your mind, you embody that energy within yourself. If you say it out loud, you release that energy and your mind comes back to a clear state to catch any new message. Us as humans have millions of thoughts per day. It could relate to any random stuff like “What if I’m a worm?”, “Are there any lives on Mars?”, “Cats are such lovely creatures”, to thoughts triggered by your surroundings like “this person is an idiot”, “why does she behave this way?”, “I don’t want to join that team”. Usually, random thoughts that come and go don’t affect your mind too much because you don’t hold on to them. But if this is something your mind keeps coming back to, it turns into a stuck energy, which, if you don’t release it, will negatively affect your body and your mind.

Stuck energy can originate from anything. An unsaid apology, explanation, unexpressed anger or fear, something you really want to say out loud, but then you hold back. It will create a stuck energy. With time, if that energy is continuously ignored and buried, it could turn into a blockage and later lead to physical illness. The stuck energy can be a burden on your body. You have to carry millions of unsaid or unexpressed thoughts. This will darken your vibe, you seem to lack energy, tired, gloomy. People can be around you and feel discouraged, this is obvious.

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Take a look at your life. We see outgoing people, people who are considered a little bit direct, outspoken, or even blunt, they’re more energetic than others who are shy and don’t talk much. By saying what’s on your mind, you release that energy and clear space for a new one to appear. As a result, these people often have better focus, a clearer mind, and are more determined. However, talking is just one of the ways to release energy. Others can be exercise, making art, or journaling. A person doesn’t need to talk much, but if they still have those activities, they don’t have much blockage in their body.

In this blog, I want to focus more on saying what’s on your mind, what you want, and what you don’t want. For example, if your in-law family comes to the city and wants to stay at your house, and you refuse that offer. Or your friends invite you to a party but you don’t feel like going, so you say it. You like dating at a fancy restaurant, you tell your boyfriend. You want a day off, you tell your boss. Directly saying what you like and don’t like is simple, you tell the truth. There is no beating around the bush, no sugarcoating, no over-explaining. You just express your thoughts sincerely, and let others deal with it the way they want to.

When you’re being straightforward, when you tell what you mean, you do it for yourself, not others. You do it so you can release that energy, it is no longer stuck in your field. Because if you don’t, you will be haunted by it. You tell yourself that you should reply differently, that you should say no or say yes. By telling the truth, you’re being true to yourself, and you do yourself a favor. How other people react to your answer is none of your business. You say it for you, not for them. You get it out, you did your part. If anything unwanted happens, like you actually don’t show up at the event, or someone lets you down and you leave them, it’s their fault. They don’t listen to you and respect you in the first place.

No one can read your mind, you teach people how to treat you

Not everyone is a mind reader, especially if you constantly send out mixed signals. You say you like something, but your body language and attitude say otherwise. Usually, people listen to what you say, your behavior, and also do a little bit of guessing, to treat you the way they feel is right. If you seem okay with hanging out at McDonald’s, your friends will ask you to hang out there next time. If you say nothing about cigarettes, people assume that smoking around you is fine. If you always wear jeans and a T-shirt, no one thinks about buying you a dress for your birthday. I mean, people treat you the way you treat yourself and represent yourself. It’s exactly who you are.

If something is against your will, you should say it out loud. Do not tolerate any inappropriate behavior just because you don’t want to let anyone down. Each time you cross your boundary, you make it harder to affirm it next time. People assume you are that type of person, and they treat you accordingly. Later, it’s hard to change their behavior. People can even resent you for changing your attitude.

For instance, you usually host holidays or important events, but you don’t enjoy it. You just want to be a guest, dress nicely, attend the party, and go home. You don’t need to worry about preparing and cleaning after that. If you’re upfront about it at first, everyone is happy letting you be a guest. But if people get used to being in your house, and now you’re changing your mind, some people won’t be happy about it. They’ll talk behind your back, about how petty you are, how they don’t even enjoy your party, and how another host is better. This is how people react if you start being straightforward about what you want.

So if you have a chance, always stay true to yourself in the first place. You give people no room to judge you. They just accept that it’s who you are and what your standards are.

When you’re not clear about what you want and don’t want, people don’t know how to treat you. They might treat you the wrong way, or not match the level you expected. When you’re bluntly direct, you teach people how to treat you the right way, how to love you, and you repel anyone who doesn’t make enough effort to reach your level. By telling people what you want, you save yourself and the people around you a lot of time, and you can focus your energy on more important things. A lot of trouble could be reduced just by you being outspoken. People also respect you more when they know you’re clear and straightforward. Anyone who has a problem with that attitude must be the wishy-washy, ambiguous, or deceptive one.

Perks of saying what you want

• Saving time for yourself and people around you
• Repelling people who don’t match your energy
• You get what you want
• You attract the right people
• People respect you more when you have boundaries
• You affirm your authentic self
• You have peace of mind
• You feel good about yourself

Being straightforward is the simplest way to get what you want in life, both small things and big things. You will be surprised by how easy it is for life to go your way. You feel like God’s favorite child, since things unfold exactly the way you expected.

Not everyone was born with this gift. Your personality is built by your upbringing, you react the same way as your parents. If they don’t know how to set boundaries, you will grow up without them either. If your parents always go out of their way to make everyone happy, then you will behave the same way as an adult. Most of us don’t know who we are, we don’t know our worth, until life pushes us to the point of stepping up for ourselves. We need to teach ourselves differently. We should be nice and forgive ourselves for what we don’t know, what we haven’t been taught before.

Saying what you want sounds simple, but this takes time. First, you have to be aware of your patterns, how you cross your own boundaries to make people happy. Then you need practice, saying what’s on your mind out loud, sincerely, without sounding rude. Just express yourself truthfully, and you will see how the world goes in your favor.