Have you ever met someone who has an impressive memorization ability? They can remember exactly what you said 3 months ago, where you guys sat, what color your tie was, and how the server in a coffee shop accidentally spilled his drink. Meanwhile, you’re struggling to recall what you had for lunch. Actually, you could be both. But anyway, have you ever wondered how this happens? Why do you remember something clearly but seem absent-minded with something else? Can we improve our memory, or is this fated, like you were born with a foggy mind and are stuck with it forever? This blog will answer all of your questions, help you understand the fundamental system behind why some people have such a good memory and an ability to focus on details, and why others are such an airhead.

1. Life is about awareness

When we were born, we had no knowledge of this world, just like a blank page. Our parents and surroundings teach us what everything is, from walking, using our hands, contemplating the world around us, to our personal hygiene, how to cook, and how to make friends. Depending on them, we build the foundation of who we are, what we know, and what we notice in others. When you’ve experienced something, you have the ability to notice it in others. Like if they cook pasta the wrong way, or if they play a song beautifully. You must know what it is in order to see it.

Besides our default awareness, which was built by our upbringing, each time we try something new, we unlock a new area of life. Any type of learning wires our brain in a new way, activating new neurons. When you expose yourself to unfamiliar things, you are exposed to a new world. By immersing yourself in it, you start gaining the ability to notice people who are in the same world, and therefore develop awareness in that area. If you’re completely oblivious to that world, then you miss everything in it, even if it’s right in front of you.

For example, when you learn music, you start noticing how singers or anyone around you use their voice. Do they have perfect pitch, relative pitch, or dead pitch? You observe their mouth shape and how they control their breath. You appreciate their talents more, and you can also tell if someone plays music well or not. You can look at the guitar or piano, and tell if that person is passionate about their music, or if they just see it as a hobby. Learning music unlocks the music world for you; therefore, you can see people in that world with different eyes. Compared with a person who never learned music, they are technically oblivious.

You don’t need to be a master at something in order to see that world. Just exposing yourself to it is enough. Having basic knowledge of something equals having the ability to notice people in the same world. Therefore, the more you learn and the more experience you have, the more awareness you embody to notice the details in front of you. Each area of life you explore is a new part of your brain that unlocks; you can see clearly what you were blind to before.

Everything in this world is connected. A new part of your brain being activated means you can see something new in life now. It doesn’t always have to be in the same world. As long as two things are similar on an energy level, understanding the function of one thing leads to the understanding of another. For instance, if you go through ear training, not only does your relationship with music change, but your relationship with people improves as well. Sensing music and sensing people’s emotions are similar; consequently, you can apply what you learn to the real world. Usually, people with varied experiences have better awareness. They can notice details that someone who hasn’t learned them will miss.

Life happens right here and right now. In Buddhism, we have a word, “ksana”, which is the smallest conceivable unit of time, an infinitesimally brief instant or split second. For each ksana you are aware of, you are alive. However, we can’t be aware all the time. We as human beings are conditioned to be blind. Our ego filters what we can and can’t see. Before the first spiritual awakening, we’re 100% on autopilot. That awakened moment is your first taste of being alive, of truly being here, being in the now. Then after that, it’s a game of prolonging that awakened moment for as long as possible. Of course, you can’t hold that awareness forever, unless you’re a god. Normal human beings will be on and off autopilot. You go on with life and suddenly realize you lost your focus. It’s time to come back to this moment, here and now.

The process of learning new things or putting yourself in unfamiliar situations helps expand your awareness. Trying and struggling pull you out of autopilot mode, forcing you to focus on every second. The more you learn, the more aliveness you feel. When you’re on autopilot, your life is destined; trauma and ego decide your life. When you are awake, you can choose consciously, you own your actions and your life.

2. When you’re awake, you see through people

Because life happens in ksana, if you’re aware, you can see people who are on autopilot. You see their reactions, their traumas, and what they want to hide. This usually shows for only a split second. It’s very subtle; it is subconscious movement, just a blink of an eye, a forced smile, or an awkward hand position. It tells you who the person in front of you is.

Frankly, not everyone knows what they are talking about. Everything happens quickly without people having a chance to think too much. A lot of people don’t remember what they say, since they’re on autopilot. Their words are programmed; they give responses like an AI bot, and they have no ability to observe their own speech. But if you’re aware when you listen to them, you just remember naturally. Not like you actively try to remember stuff, but in that moment of conversation, you’re awake. You’re truly here, mindful of whatever happens around you. You experience it yourself; this is something you live. When you live one moment fully, it’s a part of you. It makes you who you are; it’s written in your memory card. So when people ask you about that event, you just remember. It appears in your mind without you even trying. This explains why some people have better memory than others, even to the point of seeming supernatural.

To me, I usually remember the experience as a whole, not as multiple separated details. When I need information in my head, it starts with the vibe, the feeling I had when I experienced that data. Then the scenery slowly appears: where I sat, who I was with, what the conversation was about, and how the weather felt that day. As if a whole memory is depicted in my head before I reach for the answer. This usually happens in a second, so quickly that people think I have a very good memory. But I need to recall the full experience in order for it to pop out.

In the moment of being awake, people see through you. They see your hidden motives; they see your insecurities. Depending on your level of awareness, you could have noticeable or subtle unconscious movements. We’re all disconnected once in a while. It’s just that people with heightened awareness can observe those with a lower level of concentration. If something is not from your heart, if you don’t pour all your mind and soul into it, then you will definitely have distracted moments. People can see it. Your eyes, your hands, your posture, your body show your true motives.

This is why you could feel an unexplainable intimidating energy from someone, even if you have no visible proof. They could see through you. They see what you want to hide or the shadow part you try to bury. These people could say or do nothing, but their high level of awareness triggers you, making you feel like you’re being observed. This is true. Although both of you experience the same reality, their ability to be aware gives them more time and space to watch you, while conversely, you are on autopilot, so that moment just slips through. The same ksana is being experienced differently, one person is awake, the other is oblivious.

3. People with bad memory and focus

In our group of friends, there is always one friend who is such an airhead. They forget about everything, even the important ones. They make the same mistakes over and over again, even leading themselves into some unbelievable situations that leave you speechless. These people look like they lack common sense, they lose track of time, and they can’t manage their life like a normal person. Why do they behave that way? What is wrong with them?

It’s because their level of awareness is too low, or they have no awake moments at all. Their life runs entirely on autopilot. Their heart and their mind are not on their actions; they’re somewhere else. They’re too busy overthinking or fantasizing. As a result, they completely lose the moment of here and now. For example, when they’re talking with people, instead of mindfully listening, they’re thinking about the next response, silently judging the person talking, or thinking about something else irrelevant, like “What should I have for dinner?” or “Is my husband cheating?”

Being aware means you’re alive in the moment of here and now, without any distraction. The second your thoughts interfere, you are being pulled out of reality, and you lose that moment of truth. The more you live in your head, the more you miss in real life. Therefore, these people totally miss any facts or information people say to them, leading to the consequence of being an airhead.

With time, they slowly accept the fate of being a person with bad memory. Constantly forgetting things becomes a part of their identity. These people lack observation skills; they can’t see the truth even if that truth is right in front of them. They’re like a blind person navigating life, so it’s normal when they frequently bump into things here and there.

Besides your starting point when you were born, a low level of awareness can be the result of too many things happening at the same time. Just like a computer with many apps and tabs open, when you’re on one tab, another pop-up requires your immediate attention. When your life has so many unfinished businesses, those things will pop up randomly to remind you of something undone. As a result, you lose track of here and now, of what happens at the moment. Your awareness gets disrupted, and you miss important information in that exact second.

Usually, people who hold on to things can have this problem. Any airhead person I’ve encountered either is too lazy to start and finish things, or they don’t know how to process their emotions the right way, which leads to blockages in their energy field, making them have a foggy mind. The word “absent-minded” can be used for those people, which means even if their physical body is here, their mind is somewhere else. They’re too busy thinking about the past or future, resenting someone who treated them wrong, or fantasizing about the dream they’re too lazy to strive for. If you have so much going on in your life, it’s understandable that you can’t have full focus in any moment of life.

There is another funny situation that even a person with a great memory might have encountered: you struggle to remember what you had for dinner last night. It just happened less than 24 hours ago, so how can you memorize something from last moth but have a totally empty mind about something from yesterday? The answer lies in your level of awareness when you experience that event. If you were truly alive, if you were awake and paying attention, then it’s easy to recall it no matter how much time has passed. Conversely, if you do something without being mindful and grounded, then that event leaves nothing in you. For example, if you have a meal while watching TV, you are distracted, and then you just forget about it. When you don’t fully experience something, it will pass without any impression. Everybody has been there before: someone just tells you their name, and you totally forget it the next minute. It’s because your thoughts were wandering somewhere else. When your mind is not in it, you won’t remember a thing.

3. How to expand your awareness?

In order to bring clarity to your mind, you need to start with your surroundings. A messy place results in a messy mind. An overcrowded room equals an overcrowded mind. You live in that environment, so it affects your mind. If your home is unorganized and dirty, be prepared for a complicated mental space. The first thing you can do is clean your room and your house. This has a significant impact on how you think and process information.

Look at your mind as a room. If it’s full of furniture and garbage, when you have a new chair, you have nowhere to put it but to throw a chair away or cram it somewhere random. It is the same with your crowded mind when you receive new information. Your mind is too busy with the mess inside it, so there is no room for new things to enter. Then it’s understandable that you can’t remember anything, even if it is said directly to you.

After the physical space, it’s time to review your social circle, the people you let into your life, and your social media. Unfriend or delete any contacts you haven’t talked to since high school. Delete the apps you no longer use, and any old or useless photos. Old energies are meant to be cleared away; do not let them overcrowd your life. Throw away anything you don’t use anymore, even if it’s a relationship, dream, faith, or belief.

Cleaning your energy field easily leads to a clear mind. Now you have more space to focus on the things you experience in the moment. By living that moment fully, you naturally remember the details related to that event. Bad memory is not something you’re doomed with. You can enhance your awareness so much just by stopping engaging with whatever is no longer useful to you.

You also need to detox your mind by finishing whatever thought is hanging in there. If you have any guilt, shame, anger, regret, or grief, it’s time to release these things. I wrote a blog about how to release your stuck energy. Although the title is about losing weight, the content mostly talks about how to release and balance your energy, especially in section 3.

Why You Can’t Lose Weight: The Hidden Energy Behind Overeating

Expanding your awareness is expanding your knowledge, wisdom, and experience. Whenever you let yourself try new things, you activate a new part of your brain and your life. Learning is the key. When you learn something new, you struggle, you find a way, and you’re being alive. That process turns off the noise in your mind, clearing anxieties, self-doubts, and worries. It’s just you and the topic or skill you focus on. Depending on the activity, your mind and your awareness could be on your body, your hands, or mastering a skill. This is you being alive every second.

New or even dangerous surroundings trigger this hyper-aware state. New countries, new cities, and new houses bring a sense of exploration. Whatever you try for the first time captures your awareness the most. Physically changing things in your outside world is the easiest way to put your mind into that childlike wonder state. However, this way is expensive, and not everyone can afford to change their home, furniture, or closet frequently.

Another way to expand your awareness is learning new things and stuff. Language is fun; you have to merge into a new culture in order to comprehend its language. Any type of skill like coding, writing, singing… unlike moving to a new city where you explore the outside world, acquiring a new skill demands your time and dedication. It’s the exploration inside yourself.

The next thing to do is come back to your body. Anything that makes your body move in a new way or activates a new part of it. Exercising, lifting weights, Pilates, running, swimming… all types of sports put your focus back into your body. In my own experience, yoga is one of the best trainings that significantly improves our awareness, since it stretches you so much, puts you into challenging poses, and activates spots you have never been to before in your life. Sex is similar, when you have to relax your body in order to reach climax.

Sex Can Heal You, If You Do It Right

Playing musical instruments, as well as any DIY activities like arranging flowers, cooking, or pottery making, are both new skills and new body movements. Learning piano does not stop at theory and music notes; it’s also about stretching your fingers. Cooking requires you to remember recipes and ingredients, but how you use the knife and your hands also matters. Multitasking skills can do wonders for expanding your awareness.

This explains why wealthy people and people in high positions seem powerful and intimidating. Their vibes are different. They can just see through you; not many people dare to lie to them. In a group or team project, they notice the problems, the cracks, right away. They ask the right questions, and they touch your pain points in one glance. How can they do that? These people have more experience. They try multiple things, play sports, learn piano or violin since they were kids, and meet all types of people, so they’re hyper-aware. They know who you are and what your intentions are. Nothing can fool them.

Learning a musical instrument at an early age improves a kid’s IQ; this is a fact. The secret is not in how flexible their fingers move or how cool they look when they play the piano. It’s about expanding their awareness, so that later in life, they can remember things and look at any problem with a broader perspective. The more you learn as a kid, the more awake you become. This supports you immensely in making life choices in the future.

One thing I want to clarify is that not all kids who play violin are smarter than those who don’t. New skills broaden your awareness; it doesn’t mean you will be more intelligent than your friends. Each person has a different starting point in life. Learning new things makes you better than your old self. Other people’s journeys are irrelevant.

If you have children, don’t hesitate to let them try new things. Let your kids explore the world, let them try and fail, and if they’re lucky, you can discover their talents from a very young age. This is a privilege of rich kids that I wish I could have had when I was a child. It took me 25 years or more to know myself and my talents. I think that process could have been so much shorter if I had the chance to explore nature, arts, and the world when I was young. Also, learning as a kid is easier than learning as an adult.

But you shouldn’t force your child to do things, it will backfire. Kids need their childhood, so it’s better to maintain balance. Make sure they’re having fun while learning, which means you should let them learn what they like, not what you think they should like. Knowledge and wisdom are limitless. Even if your children speak 4 languages and play in a whole orchestra, they will never stop learning. Don’t try to cram everything into your kid’s little head. Let them learn at their own pace, they will learn for the rest of their life anyway. Our job is to give them a good start, not to push them to the finish line. They have to do it themselves.

Lastly, one thing you can do to expand your awareness, this one costs you no money and requires no physical strength, is meditation. It is a way to explore your mind and body, all with your concentration.

With yoga or sports, you use poses or techniques to put your body in a certain position, forcing your mind to come there because of the uncomfortable sensations that arise when you push yourself hard enough. When you travel, you borrow the scenes outside to trigger the thoughts and feelings inside, then if you’re lucky, you see your authentic self along the way.

But with meditation, you are alone with your mind. No one guides you where to go, you explore it yourself. Anything that arises is your mind communicating with you. The more time you spend with it, the more corners you discover, the more darkness you shed light on. This creates the same effect as when you travel or learn new skills, because you activate new parts of your brain, and this leads to new areas of life being unlocked, a higher level of awareness, and concentration. This is aliveness in its pure form. You’re alive with your mind, your body, and whatever sensations you have.

Meditation expands your awareness, resulting in you seeing this life with clarity, acceptance, and fulfillment.

Meditation Won’t Fix Your Life, Unless You Do This

To sum up, there are 5 ways to expand your awareness and bring clarity back to your mind:

• Detoxing your space, social circle, and energy field
• Changing your appearance and surroundings
• Learning new skills
• Moving your body (working out, yoga, sex…)
• Meditation

I think there are more ways to enhance our awareness. If you do have any experience on this topic, do not hesitate to leave a comment down below and express your own opinions. Your knowledge can help others in their journey, so don’t be shy, just say what you are being called to say.

Thank you so much for being here. I wish you all the best things in life, and I will see you next time.

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