"The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observe."

Sherlock Holmes.

This world contains all the answers within itself. It’s interesting how some people can notice the details, read body language and voice tone, and arrive at the correct conclusion, while others are completely oblivious. When you take the time to observe people, you have all the information you need about them. They can’t hide it. However, we’re not here to be Sherlock Holmes, as I haven’t figured out how to do that yet. We’re here to read humans like a book, to learn about their psyche, to understand the root of their behaviors. In this blog, I will share one trick to help you understand people, what they are striving for, and whether they have found the meaning of life or not. Everything starts with one simple question:

What does happiness mean to you?

Take your time and answer that question yourself. You might come up with the answer right away, or it might take you a few minutes to process. Either way, you must have your own definition of happiness, one that aligns with you and your path. The way people, including you, reply to this question reflects the way they live, for happiness is everyone’s purpose in this world. Each person’s goal may be different. Some people are looking for money and status, others seek love and relationships, and the rest simply want to change the world. No matter how different people’s desires are, they all pursue them for happiness.

People who can answer that question

If you ask someone this question and they can give you an answer, they know what they are doing in life. The time people need to respond varies. A few react right away, others need a few minutes or days to process, and some take a lifetime to answer that question. However, if people can define “happiness,” they must have tasted it and are trying to pursue it every day, as being happy is the highest goal in life, no matter how they choose to define it.

There is no right or wrong answer, for each person is different. Happiness could be spending time with their family, achieving their dream career, following their passion, getting married, making their parents proud, helping the world and people in need. It could be enlightenment, going to heaven, or meeting their God. Any version of happiness is suitable for the person answering it, because only they know what they truly want and understand their path in life.

People who can answer this question are on a journey. They’re pursuing a mission. Even if that mission seems shallow, weird, or irrelevant, it signifies that they know where they are going. They have a purpose, and they are less likely to get lost. When you know what you are doing and you’re certain about it, you will have a set of rules and standards that you must follow. For example, if you want to join Miss Universe, then you must train your body, improve your performance skills, and further your education. Having this goal gives you a purpose to get up every day. It repels bad behaviors such as overeating or laziness. As a result, you stand out as a person with discipline and determination.

Or if someone wants to go to heaven in the afterlife, then they would try their best to be kind and do good things, and they stay away from evil deeds. So people who have an answer to the question of happiness know exactly what they are doing in life. They pursue it, they know what they should and shouldn’t do, and they save themselves and the people around them a lot of time. As you become clear about what you want and your path, you can reach it much quicker than people who are still wandering around.

The definition of happiness also shows a person’s priorities. You can see whether they put their family, their career, their physical health, their mental health, or their spiritual health first. You will know which aspect of life they are willing to let go of if anything happens, and which one they aren’t. This helps you come up with a strategy for how to treat that person and which lines you should never cross, like never joking about their family or their guru.

You know what is important to them, so later you can choose suitable gifts and conversations. If that person is career-oriented, giving them something that supports their career will be better than a gift for their wife. We don’t do this to manipulate people or get what we want. It’s simply a practice that requires you to be more aware and observant. With time, this ability will become your second nature. You will simply know what to do based on the information you have about the people around you.

People with no answer

If you start asking this question, you will be shocked by the number of people who reply, “I don’t know,” or have no answer at all. Some people see happiness as something strange, something so far away, as if it’s not real, and they have never thought about it even once in their lives. If they can’t define happiness, they are unhappy. It’s that simple. Anyone who has ever tasted even a drop of happiness can at least describe it with words, music, images, or memories. A person who can’t answer that question is a person with no purpose in life. They are lost, they have no goals, and they live with no rules or standards. As a result, they are easier to manipulate, and they can easily go down the wrong path and do the wrong things.

When a person has no goal, they end up helping others reach theirs. They become a pawn on the chessboard, one that can be killed, sacrificed, and replaced at any moment. These people work according to the schedule given to them, do the jobs assigned to them, and live like machines supporting people with goals and purpose. Obviously, they’re unhappy. To these people, achieving a dream, living in a big house, or having a stress-free life is unimaginable. Happiness feels unreal. And if you can’t imagine something, it can’t happen. Everything starts with your mind, with you daydreaming about it. If even thinking about happiness seems intimidating, there is no way these people can have a good life.

When talking with these people, I often move on to the next topic instead of focusing too much on their answer. Don’t argue with them, try to change their mind, or impart your wisdom to them, because they won’t listen. They’re living in their own bubble, and they won’t come out until the lesson has been learned. If their time comes, they will openly come to you with questions, and that’s the time to enlighten them. If not, just forget about their problems. It’s none of your business. Don’t try to sound smart or act like a know-it-all. You ask this question to understand that person, not to look superior to them. These people haven’t reached their moment yet. Give them time, and life will bring them the answer.

Pay attention to the way people respond

Although, from the outside, we only see people with answers or no answers, in real life, things get more complicated than that. Most of the time, what people say comes after the way they say it. Do they sound confident or hesitant? Do they believe in what they say, or are they uncertain? Do they take time to answer, or do they reply right away? These details can significantly change who they are and what they are doing.

If a person answers quickly and clearly, they know exactly what they are doing, and they go all in. When people take time to answer, they fall into the slow and careful category, the type of people who need to make sure everything is alright before taking action. Or simply by paying attention to their voice and tone, you will know whether they trust what they are doing or are uncertain about it.

One thing to notice is whether they are quoting someone or if the definition comes from themselves. It’s easy to repeat the words of famous people. You simply remember the sentence without truly understanding its meaning. When you quote someone, you live according to their experience, not your own. This can signal a person who is full of theories and formulas, a book-smart but lacks real-life experience. When you truly live your life, you will have your own version of happiness, not someone else’s. So even if you answer quickly, if that answer doesn’t come from the bottom of your heart, if it’s not something you have gone through or truly believe in, then that response is invalid.

So when you ask the question, pay attention to the way people reply. Observe their body language and their tone of voice. A true answer comes from the bottom of the heart, their tone will be deep, slow, and grounded. If their reply seems rushed, high-pitched, trembling, or uncertain, that definition of happiness is not their own. It’s something they learned from others. Only people who have truly tasted happiness can describe that kind of experience. This can’t be faked or mimicked. It’s something that oozes from you, your vibe, and your energy. It’s everything about you as a whole.

If you still hesitate with your answer, dig deeper. Try different things to see what kind of experience gives you that spark, a moment of mindfulness, a feeling of being grounded, where you don’t worry about the future or regret the past. It’s only you and the present. Whatever happens in front of you, you merge with it. You become one with the experience, with the moment. This is happiness. A surge of gratitude, where you’re simply glad that you’re here, that you’re alive. You know everything will be alright, because you are in a good hand, a hand of the Universe.

I just shared with you my own version of happiness. How about yours? Leave a comment down below to remind yourself: What does happiness mean to you?