Believe it or not, you are exactly the product of your parents. You inherit their trauma, their characteristics, their problems in life, the kinds of partners you encounter, and the life lessons you have to face. The way your parents raise you determines your life path. You learn from them, both consciously and unconsciously, absorbing both their strengths and their flaws. They even pass on certain health conditions through the diet they provide when you are a child. That’s why obese parents often have obese children. You enter this life through your parents; therefore, you inherit their karma, whether good or bad.

When two people have a child, that child is their product. Children carry traits from both parents. They grow up influenced by both sides and continue developing from there. If your parents are good at something, you are likely to be good at it as well. And if they have weaknesses, you may face similar challenges. For example, if your mother is outgoing and talkative, you will probably have little trouble making friends or engaging in small talk. Conversely, if your father has a problem with alcohol, there is a higher chance that you may struggle with the same issue in the future. The upbringing and environment your parents provide are shaped by their own lives, so it is no surprise that you end up becoming much like them, though not exactly the same, since you are a combination of both.

People with Divorced Parents

This is a common situation all over the world. Parents break up, leaving their children to grow up without a mother and father, or sometimes even without both. Remember, both parts of your parents always exist within you. If they couldn’t make it work, then somewhere inside you, those two parts are in conflict with each other. If you can’t resolve that conflict, you will always feel as though you are being pulled in two different directions, as if you have two different personalities within you. It becomes difficult to make up your mind. These people are often unpredictable because they can’t decide what they truly want, just like their parents.

But while your mother and father are two separate people who can go their own ways without any visible consequence, you can’t. Those two parts are both you, so the responsibility of bringing them into harmony falls on your shoulders. Whatever your parents failed to resolve, it is now up to you to solve. If your dad wants a stable career but your mom desires a rich, luxurious life, then it is your task to bring those two parts into peace with each other.

If you can’t resolve the conflict within yourself, it will be projected outward when another person enters your life, someone who embodies characteristics similar to your mother or father. Together, the two of you may end up recreating the same marriage your parents had. Whatever they used to fight about, whatever issues they failed to resolve, you are likely to encounter the same ones. Look around you. Isn’t it common for people with divorced parents to struggle in their first marriage? They often have to learn the same lessons their parents never did. Because they grew up in a broken marriage, they were never shown how to love in a healthy way. They unconsciously mimic the way their parents treated each other, but since their parents failed, they often end up failing in their first marriage as well.

It can feel like a curse. You seem destined to have more than one spouse simply because your parents never taught you how to love or treat another person in the right way.

If you are the product of a failed marriage, make sure you work on yourself and learn your own lessons. You need to bring harmony to both parts of yourself before thinking about settling down. Otherwise, you may end up recreating the same problems for your own children in the future.

Kids Who Are Raised by Their Grandparents

I’m not fond of parents leaving their children with their own parents, so they can start over with a clean slate, ignoring the human being they brought into this world. Leaving your child to be raised by your parents is one of the most irresponsible things you can do. You are the one who brought them into this life, so you must take full responsibility for raising them and giving them the life they deserve. Even if your financial situation doesn’t allow it, you have to find a way. This is your lesson, and you have to face it yourself.

Take the example of Selina (this is a fictional name, and the situation is fictional as well). Selina’s parents raised the version of her who ended up in a failed marriage with a four year old son. After the divorce, she decided to leave her son with her parents, while she entered a second marriage with another man. Her parents can only raise a child the way they know how. If she leaves her son with them, they will likely raise that boy to become another version of her, only with a different name and gender. Selina’s parents cannot raise him differently because that is all they know. By leaving her son with her parents, she almost guarantees him a future that mirrors her own. It is like evolution moving backward, with the younger generation repeating the same problems as the one before it.

Children should be the result of a happy marriage, where they inherit the best of both parents and continue from there with a higher purpose. Children of a failed marriage often face the same issues as their parents. That is the tragedy. If a single parent gives them everything, dedicates their life to making them a happy child and raises them the right way, then that child can grow up without trauma. But if the child is neglected or left to be raised by their grandparents, then the entire family continues to suffer from the consequences of one failed marriage.

So please be careful and think before marrying someone or having children with them. You may leave that child with burdens you were never able to resolve, and that is unfair to them. And if, for some reason, your relationship cannot have a happy ending, then take full responsibility and dedicate your life to your child. You owe them a good life, even if it means sacrificing your own dreams and happiness. You must do it for your child. They didn’t ask to be here. You brought them into this world. You owe them your full love, care, and attention. Do not selfishly marry someone else while neglecting your child. That is selfish. That is cowardly. That is a failure. Your child doesn’t deserve that. Live on your own and raise them. That is your responsibility now.

My Family and My Trauma

For a long time, I silently resented my parents. Not only was I born into poverty, but I also saw my parents as deeply flawed. I even felt humiliated by them. My dad was an alcoholic, and my mom was a working-class woman. She wasn’t well educated, and she behaved in ways that often embarrassed me. Many times, I wished I had been born into an upper-class family with good parents who, at the very least, wouldn’t make me feel ashamed. For a long time, I thought I was superior to them and that I deserved better. But let me tell you something, I am exactly the child of my mom and dad, and I carry many of the same problems they do.

My dad was a dreamer. He was an artist. He could sing, he viewed life through an innovative lens, and he had an instinct for recognizing what was wrong within a group or community. But growing up in poverty, during a time of war, stripped away his dreams. He had to live paycheck to paycheck, earning very little while watching narrow-minded people rise to positions of power around him. He felt powerless. His life seemed like a dead end. So he turned to alcohol to cope with reality. He felt that no one understood him, that there was no way to turn his life around. To him, life felt boring, unfair, and hopeless.

However, when I was young, I couldn’t see the bigger picture. I didn’t understand what he had been through. I only saw the consequences: he was always drinking, and I blamed him for it, for throwing our whole family into chaos with the constant fights over his drinking problem. I resented him for everything. I fought with him. I hurt him deeply. Even now, I still regret it.

My mom only studied until the eighth grade. She never went to high school. Her worldview was narrow, she was naive, she asked foolish questions, and she often behaved like a child. She could only focus on short-term goals, always played it safe, and took on low-paying jobs like cleaning and cooking for other people. Whenever I talked about my dreams, she told me I was daydreaming, that I was delusional, and that there was no way my dreams could ever come true, or that I could make them happen.

I didn’t like talking to her. I felt that my mom was narrow-minded. She couldn’t accomplish great things or pursue a greater mission in life. I believed she was born to serve other people and would remain in that role forever. But with the education she had, that was all she knew. That was how her parents had raised her. She was practical. She looked at life through the reality of how poor our family was at the time.

She worked many different jobs to provide for our family. Since my dad didn’t earn much, she made sure I had the things I wanted. She never let me feel inferior to my friends. With her modest income, she gave me the opportunity to attend university. But I never thanked her for any of it. I only focused on her weaknesses and blamed her for them. I blamed her for why I wasn’t born into a wealthy family, why I never had the chance to study abroad, and why I couldn’t have a better life.

I was a bad daughter back then. I never understood everything my mom struggled through. Thankfully, I still have the chance to make up for the way I treated her. My mom is still alive.

Growing up, I was the perfect combination of both of them. I was a dreamer. I wanted to change the world, but I saw how unfair life was and how little support I had to pursue my dreams. So I gave up. I threw my life away and turned to drugs. I didn’t want to start with a small, ordinary job. I wanted to become someone and do something great. But I didn’t understand that everyone has to start somewhere. I was just like my dad, a dreamer who dreamed big but never took action.

By learning from both of my parents, I came to realize that I had to start small. I had to be willing to do ordinary jobs, even the ones I considered boring, in order to provide for myself. I had to be willing to learn from scratch before reaching the position I wanted. Later in life, when I entered the dating world, I saw how foolishly I behaved in front of wealthy and more educated people, just like my mom.

I mean no disrespect toward my parents. They gave me a wonderful childhood. They loved me the way any parents love their child, and they gave me the life that I am now deeply grateful for. I love them dearly, and I am grateful that I inherited their strengths and their talents. They gave me this precious life, along with the ability to dream, to learn, and to work toward my dreams. My dreams are their dreams. My happiness is their happiness. By combining their strengths and using them to build the life I want, I bring happiness to both of them.

I’m glad to be their child, to have inherited their talents, so that I can be where I am today, talk to you guys, and live a life that I am truly happy with. I’m grateful to my parents, for the life they gave me, and for the chance to be here. I am their daughter, and I aspire to use the essence they passed on to me to do great things in life.

Children Deserve a Happy Household

Nothing in life is perfect. That’s why we’re here, to live, to learn our lessons, and to improve ourselves. However, do your best to give your children a harmonious childhood so they can enter life with an advantage. When parents love each other, it means the two parts within the child can work together in harmony. They inherit the best of both worlds and can continue building from there.

When both mom and dad have healed and truly know themselves, each of them has their own purpose. Coming together creates a new force, which later becomes their child, a child who carries their love and support for one another, inherits their strengths, and continues building from where their parents left off. They become the upgraded version of their parents: younger, more well-rounded, and blessed with the best qualities of each. A happy family gives them a stable foundation upon which they can build anything without constantly falling apart or having to start from the beginning. Their parents have already done much of the work, allowing these children to enter life with good karma.

A happy family means every part within the child is in harmony. They are less likely to change their mind constantly. They know how to love themselves and others in the right way. They understand what true love is. They don’t have to relearn the lessons their parents failed to learn. They begin life with a strong foundation.

So if you ever consider marriage and having children, make sure you choose the right person. Make sure you are willing to dedicate your life to them. Make sure you can provide a stable environment for them to grow up in, and give them good karma as they enter this life. Don’t selfishly have children because you want to keep someone, because of peer pressure, or for any other reason. A child deserves to grow up in a happy household, with both parents loving and supporting each other. That is how they grow into good people who contribute to the evolution of the world instead of holding it back.