This is a sensitive topic, and the title alone may attract a lot of criticism. Before starting, I want to clarify a few things.

Firstly, the word “overweight” I use here refers to people with serious eating disorders and health issues, those with a BMI higher than 23 or who have been diagnosed with obesity. I’m talking about those cases. Being a little bit chubby or gaining a few pounds after a holiday is totally fine and healthy, there’s nothing wrong with that.

Secondly, each person has a different body type and bone structure, which determine your range of a healthy weight. As a small Asian woman, I feel my best when my weight is around 47 kg. Compared to African athletes, their weight might be double mine. We’re different and unique, you know your own healthy range best.

This blog post is also for people who are struggling with their weight loss journey. You work out like crazy, you starve yourself, but you still gain weight. You drink nothing but water, yet somehow the number on the scale stays exactly the same, or even creeps a little higher. I’m not here to talk about the science or act like a nutrition coach. I won’t tell you it’s all about a calorie deficit either, I’m pretty sure you already know all that. You just can’t seem to follow through. Somehow, you keep sabotaging yourself. Why?

Our lives and our actions exist on the surface level. There are many factors running much deeper, in your mind, your emotions, and your energy. If you can’t fix what’s wrong on the inside, your outward appearance and actions will operate on autopilot. As if you’ve been coded to stay fat, overweight, and stuck in a cycle of self-hate.

1. Why are you getting fat?

On a physical level, the reason you gain weight is because you’re consuming more calories than you burn. In simple terms, you’re taking in more than you’re giving out, and the same idea applies on an energetic level. When you’re overweight, you’re holding more energy than your body can handle. Just like fat is stored because you can’t burn it all, you may be carrying too much of something, more than you need, and it becomes a burden on your energy field. This could show up as having more money than you need, more stress than you can handle, or more food than your body can digest.

When your body can’t process certain energy, it gets stuck and lingers in your system. This is one of the reasons you keep gaining weight. That unprocessed energy can take many forms. Sometimes, it’s suppressed emotion. Maybe someone made a joke about your appearance in 7th grade, and you still haven’t let it go, it stays with you. A relationship that ended without explanation, an apology that was never said, an embarrassing moment from five years ago, even a dream you didn’t dare to pursue, all of these are unprocessed or suppressed energies, and they weigh you down. Any memory, trauma, stress, regret, or guilt, if you can’t fully process it, it gets stored in your body.

That stored energy, because you never found an answer for it, keeps looping. It surfaces from time to time to remind you it’s still there. Because it’s unfinished, a part of it stays hidden in a dark corner of your mind. It creates a kind of void, you can’t quite name it. And that void leads to unconscious actions, moments of impulse where you do things that feel out of your control, even when you’ve told yourself not to. Your unconscious mind takes over, and in those moments, you feel like you have no power.

Those unconscious actions often show up as overeating or overconsuming things that aren’t good for you, sugar, processed foods, deep-fried dishes. When you overeat unhealthy food, it often reflects something deeper in your life: you may also be taking in too many things, or even people, that are harmful to you.

If we look at the problem directly and explain it in the simplest way, being overweight often happens to people who tolerate environments, relationships, and situations that are not good for them, or even toxic. Food addiction is similar to a toxic relationship. You know it’s not good for you, but you keep consuming and tolerating it. You crave something your body and soul can’t handle. You know you should let go, but you don’t, and that’s a form of greed.

Eating too much means you have no control over yourself, you have no control over pleasure in the physical world, and that reflects greed. These people often want more than what they need, deserve, or can handle. In many cases, it’s about money. If you see an overweight billionaire, politician, or CEO, they may be driven by greed, taking more than they give. These people often look for quick or even illegal ways to earn money, surround themselves with people they don’t like, and may harm others, animals, or the Earth to make a profit. By doing that, they earn more than they can spend, just like they eat more than they burn, and it turns into stored energy in their body, which can lead to obesity and many diseases.

In other cases, the object of greed can be anything. You might crave more attention, love, or respect from others, all of which can create unprocessed energy, often unconsciously. For example, when you want to maintain the image of being a helpful friend, you offer help whenever your friends are in trouble, or you always say yes when someone asks you for a favor, even when deep down you don’t want to. You put yourself in uncomfortable situations because you want to hold onto that image of being a “good friend.” This is a sign of greed. The same applies when you overdo something just to gain fame, respect, or attention. You’re trying too hard, in the wrong way, for things you don’t truly need or deserve, and that, too, is greed.

This is where I should pause and make a clarification: not every thin person is free from greed, but all overweight people are affected by it in some form. Any suppressed energy can lead to unconscious behavior, including overeating. But it can also show up as smoking, starving oneself, drug abuse, or work addiction. Different unconscious patterns lead to different kinds of illness, and being overweight is one of them.

So, people driven by greed can come in all shapes and sizes, they may be thin or overweight, but they will almost always carry one or more health issues. That’s because unprocessed energy, over time, creates blockages in the body and eventually manifests as physical problems. Stored energy can express itself in many ways, and one of those ways is through the physical body.

That’s why I say being overweight is a reflection of greed, even for those whose weight is affected by medication. At some level, their energy field is already disrupted.

2. Why is woman getting fat easier, especially after 30?

As a woman in my 30s, I’ve started to notice how my body gains weight more easily compared to a few years ago. Back then, I felt like I could eat a whole city and still not gain a pound. One primary reason lies in the difference between how men and women function.

Women tend to carry stronger feminine energy, receptive in nature, with a deep tendency to take things in and transform them. Men, on the other hand, often operate with stronger masculine energy: more direct, expressive, decisive, and focused on the physical world. If you don’t tell them something, they might not even notice.

Women, however, tend to absorb everything in their environment. They can read body language, sense tension in a room, and pick up on subtle emotional shifts. They receive energy naturally, even when they don’t intend to. That’s why women are often more sensitive and attentive to detail, and why they tend to store much more energy than men. A glance, a sigh, a forced smile, a raised eyebrow, they notice it all.

Being sensitive is both a gift and a curse. For that reason, they often carry many unprocessed emotions. Sometimes, it’s just the mind playing tricks, but if something remains unresolved, it can lead to overeating. When you think your mother-in-law has a problem with your cooking, but you don’t confront her and no one clarifies the situation, it becomes a loop in your mind, and it affects you negatively. You see your husband smiling at his phone, but have no proof of cheating, this becomes unprocessed energy. It can drive you crazy and lead to overeating.

I still can’t fully explain why greed or stored energy leads to being overweight in one person and lung cancer in another. It could be related to karma, or something deeper I haven’t figured out yet. If this sparks something in you, or if you have an answer, feel free to leave a comment so we can explore this idea further.

Another factor is age, and this applies to both genders. As we get older, we tend to store more unprocessed energy than when we were young, that’s understandable. You see, children can eat a lot and still stay thin because they’re young. Their minds are open; they don’t hold onto guilt, regret, or embarrassment like adults do. They forget things easily, that’s why they’re not overweight. When you see a child who is overweight, there are often many factors involved. They may be holding onto something from a very young age, often passed down from their parents. These children can carry grudges, resentment, or hurt, much like an adult.

As we age, we become more stubborn. We’re less willing to change, we hold tightly to our beliefs, and we struggle to let go. You can see this clearly, the older a person gets, the more things they accumulate. Think about your grandmother who still keeps that spoon collection from 1942. I’m not sure about yours, but I remember my grandmother’s house vividly. She kept everything, old photos, papers, chopsticks, dishes, even that ancient closet with the broken door. She wouldn’t let anyone touch her fruit or her box of biscuits unless they were already rotten or expired. Her house was filled with things that were no longer useful or relevant, and I have to say, so was her mind. She held onto grudges, remembered others’ faults for years, and wouldn’t let anyone touch her money, even in the last days of her life.

I’m not sharing this to shame my grandmother, I loved her dearly. I know this is something many older people struggle with. I’m sharing it to paint a clearer picture of how holding onto unused, unfinished energy can affect our lives, our minds, and our health.

When we were young, everything felt possible. We were full of light, ready to conquer the world, and we truly believed we could. But as we get older, that hope can slowly fade, replaced by regret, guilt, and many other heavy emotions. At a certain point in life, different for each person, you begin to realize you may not have as much time as you once thought to live the life you imagined. The dream partner, the dream career, the dream life, it didn’t happen. And then the question “what if” begins to echo. That unpursued dream turns into unfinished energy. It lingers, quietly consuming you from the inside, and sometimes, that inner emptiness shows up in the simplest way, you end up devouring an entire birthday cake.

Age also brings guilt. As human beings, we all make mistakes, and as time passes, those moments can come back to haunt us. It could be a time when life was difficult, and in a moment of weakness, you hurt someone or took something from them. Now, you’re left with regret. You wish you had done better. You feel like you owe someone closure, an apology, or perhaps someone owes that to you. Whatever you’re still holding onto creates unfinished energy. Too much regret, guilt, pain, or hatred, whatever is stored in your mind eventually settles into your body as well.

3. How to lose weight and keep the body healthy?

We are a type of animal, a part of nature, and we are meant to move in rhythm with the Earth. Have you ever seen a fat deer, an overweight lion, or an elephant with digestive problems? In the wild, creatures are rarely sick or obese, because nature itself functions in a balanced, healthy way. The only animals that become obese are those that live alongside humans. We often see ourselves as a higher form of life, but in many ways, we are the ones disrupting that balance, we behave like a cancer within the larger ecosystem.

The essence of life is impermanence, nothing lasts forever. The sun rises and sets, day comes and goes, and the seasons change from spring to summer to autumn to winter. Everything in life follows this natural cycle. When you cling to something, you resist that flow, and in doing so, you create imbalance within yourself. It could be a person you can’t let go of, a job that needs to change, a relationship that has run its course, or a dream that no longer resonates. When you can’t let something go, it turns into unfinished energy, and that energy gets stored in your body.

Step 1: Finish or release that unprocessed energy.

In order to lose weight, not just physical weight, but also the weight of responsibility on your shoulders, the weight of stress, anxiety, and worry on your mind, you have to resolve all that unprocessed energy. What are you holding on to? Are you still missing someone? Is there a dream you want to pursue? Is there anyone you still feel resentment, anger, hatred, jealousy, or guilt toward?

Finishing the energy means putting an end to that story. If it involves a specific person, reach out if you can. Ask for closure, say sorry for what you’ve done, ask for their forgiveness, tell them you miss them. If it’s something you can do, then just do it. Travel the world, visit that city, learn that language, attend university if you want to, wear that outfit, tell people what you truly mean.

There are many inspiring stories of people around the world who start over at the age of 60 or 70 and achieve incredible things despite their limitations. Stop overthinking and just do it, you have nothing to lose.

In many cases, the unfinished story can’t be finished because the person involved is no longer in the picture. This could be someone who has passed away, or someone you no longer have contact with, so there’s no way to apologize or make amends for your past actions. It’s similar with certain situations, where you have a hope or a dream, but there’s no realistic way to pursue it due to your age, health, or other circumstances.

With this kind of unfinished energy, you can’t resolve it physically, so you need to do it energetically. You can write them a letter, say everything you’ve been holding back, what you learned from them, how they changed you, and that you’re now ready to let them go. Then burn the letter. The same applies to a dream: write it down, express how much it meant to you, acknowledge that your current situation won’t allow you to pursue it, and choose to release it. Tell yourself that you can feel happy for others who achieve that dream, and that you genuinely celebrate them. Then, bring your focus back to the present.

If something or someone is completely out of reach, let it go. Let go of anything connected to that person, any pictures, letters, gifts, physical objects carry energy. Don’t hold on to items from someone you know you need to release; keeping them will only hurt you, unless you’ve truly reached a state of non-attachment (which I’ll talk about in another post).

Step 2: Stop absorbing unwanted energy

Just like losing physical weight, no matter how hard you work out, if you keep eating junk, you’ll stay stuck, this process works the same way. Working through unfinished energy in your mind is difficult. It takes time. It requires awareness and observation, catching your thoughts and emotions as they arise, and then consciously working through them. Don’t sabotage the process by continuing to pour more unwanted energy into yourself.

The simplest way to reduce negative energy from the outside is to create distance. If something constantly brings pessimism into your life, step away from it. This work temporarily, but you can’t isolate yourself forever. You’re still part of society, you have family, work, and daily interactions. So at some point, you need to learn the art of letting go.

When someone triggers you, don’t hold onto that emotion, observe it, then let it go. If people joke about your job or your appearance, if they disrespect you or laugh in your face, let them do it, and let it pass. By detaching yourself from your thoughts and emotions, you become transparent to this kind of negative energy. People may send it your way, but you no longer hold onto it. Anger, jealousy, guilt, embarrassment, none of it is truly you. It’s just emotion, and you let it go.

After detoxing your mind, working through unfinished energy and stopping the intake of unwanted energy, you begin to feel clear. Your energy field slowly returns to a state of balance. You take in only as much as you give. At that point, the urge to overconsume fades. You simply know when it’s enough, and you stop. It becomes natural, effortless, it’s no longer a struggle. Having a healthy body and a healthy weight is a byproduct of a balanced energy field. If you’re in a good state on the inside, your outer physical state will reflect it.

Don’t mistake having a perfect body for having a balanced energy field and a peaceful mind. It’s not just about appearance, it’s about the energy you carry, the sense of happiness that comes from within. I once knew a slim woman who was constantly stressed about her looks. She would either starve herself or overeat as if there were no tomorrow. She even cried when someone told her she had a round face (in my country, people tend to prefer an oval or V-line face, and a round face is often seen as a bit chubby). That woman had many struggles in her life, including her health. Anyone could see that something was deeply off, despite her model-like appearance. She was fighting many battles, and staying thin was just one of them. She was miserable. I could tell she carried a lot of suppressed emotions and unfinished energy, she took on too much and held on to things long after it was time to let go. That was an example of an unhappy woman.

In the end, only you truly know what you’re going through. I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is, but if you’re struggling with your weight, there may be something within you that is unwanted or unnecessary, something you’re still holding onto. It’s time to pause, take a deep breath, and be honest with yourself. What are you holding onto? What are you carrying too much of that is affecting your body and mind? You have to be willing to let it go. If you keep holding on, it won’t just affect your weight, it can also seriously impact your health. I’m not here to shame anyone. I’m only sharing what I’ve experienced, and I truly wish you a healthy, happy life.