I have to admit, I have a big ego. I used to think I was the smartest person in the room everywhere I went. I usually didn’t listen to people, even if it was my boss. My parents? Never. I got used to doing everything on my own, and I’ve had tons of experience with it, both good and bad. After 30 years, I’m still trying to figure things out. Whenever I start something new, I get stuck between doing it my way or doing it the way other people tell me to. If you’re facing the same problem, you’re not alone.

That’s why I’m writing this blog: to help you find the balance between listening to others without losing your standards and authenticity. How to do things your way effectively while still implementing the best ideas from the people before you. If you want the short answer, it’s about knowing exactly what you want and lowering your ego along the way.

1. When you’re not a follower

I get it. You don’t want to do something because it feels beneath you. You want to do it your way, because you believe your way is better. You don’t want to beg people to buy your products. You hate those boring tasks you have to do every day just because people say they’ll boost sales or help you go viral. You don’t like knocking on the doors of powerful people, hoping they’ll give you a chance. It’s just not what you want to do.

But how can anyone do that without feeling inferior?

I used to work for an insurance company as a saleswoman. To be honest, deep down, I hated that job. I did it because I was running out of options. You know those people. They beg others to buy life insurance. The job required me to find customers, constantly check up on them, set meeting dates, and secretly hope I could reach my target that month.

I need to clarify something first: there’s nothing wrong with being a salesperson for an insurance company. As long as you believe in your product and truly want to help people, it’s totally fine. It’s a good job actually. I know people who did it really well. They had morals, they were dedicated, and they loved what they were doing. However, that’s not my story.

Deep down, I didn’t think people needed life insurance. I didn’t think it was useful, so even when I tried to convince people to buy my product, I didn’t believe in it myself. At that time, I felt terrible. I felt like I was a cockroach chasing people and annoying them. Even when they turned me away, I kept coming back. My self-esteem hit rock bottom because you could see people judging you for doing that job. I hated it. I hated every second of it.

I was a bad employee, and I quit after six months, which felt like six months in hell to me. This is an example of me doing exactly what people in the industry told me to do, yet I still failed. If it’s not something I love, then no matter whether I follow the instructions or do it my way, I lose. This is where my life took a turn.

When I started my first YouTube channel, I knew nothing about it. I did everything from scratch, completely on my own. I had no guide, no teacher, and no one around me knew how to do YouTube. I searched Google along the way, from how to create a channel, how to upload my first video, and how to edit anything. I did it step by step until that channel became monetized and reached 25,000 subscribers at its peak.

I did it raw, purely for the videos only. No hashtags, no categories, no crazy editing, no expensive tools, no plan or tactics. Just passion, and somehow I made it work.

Later, when I met my partner, who also works in the same field, he started teaching me how to do YouTube the “right” way, the way he learned from his teacher. Apparently, if I wanted my channel to grow fast, I should follow his techniques. To make it short without going too deep into the professional side of things, it meant I had to comment on channels in the same field 10–15 times a day, watch other channels to grow audience engagement, use full hashtags… I mean, it was tons of boring tasks I had to do daily in order to help grow my audience and engagement.

Also, if I wanted to go viral quickly, I should follow famous channels, talk about the same topics, and even copy their style in order to attract their viewers to my channel.

To be frank, I hated it. I didn’t like looking at numbers and predicting what I should do next. I didn’t like covering popular topics just because they would get more views. More than anything, I didn’t like copying other people. I wanted to create something I loved, something that came from me, to talk about what I believed in, not what people wanted to hear.

However, at that time, I was running out of money, and my partner seemed like he knew what he was doing. So I followed his instructions, and I ended up growing a few successful channels, which gave me much more income than my first one. I have to admit, his way of doing YouTube worked. He understood how the algorithm worked, he knew what the audience wanted to hear, and he gave it to them. To him, YouTube was a game of getting as many views and as much money as possible by manipulating the algorithm.

I did it, and I know it works. However, something was missing. I didn’t feel fulfilled, even though I was making more money than I ever had since I was a teenager. I didn’t want to do something I didn’t love. I didn’t want to create content just because people wanted to hear it. I wanted to do something I truly believed in, something I was passionate about. That was the moment I quit YouTube and started my blog.

2. You can win with passion only

My YouTube journey taught me one thing: I have to do the work I love. Just like with my first channel, I knew nothing about the technical side of it, but I still succeeded. My passion for the topic fueled me with a strong urge to keep going, no matter how hard it was.

On an energy level, when you do something, you send out energy. The more you embody it, the stronger that energy becomes. Other people will notice it. When you radiate a specific energy, you attract people who are on the same frequency. They will come to you. It’s only a matter of time, dedication, and how consistent you are on the journey. Because people will show up. They will see your work, as long as you keep going and never give up. Put yourself out there, say what you believe in, be your authentic self. That is the strongest frequency, and it will pull people toward you.

If you feel the urge to do something, whether it’s art, a product, a startup, or a YouTube channel, and you have that desire, it’s because somewhere out there in the world, there are people waiting for you. They need your product, they need your creative idea, they need to hear your voice, they need to listen to your mind. These people are waiting for you, and that’s why you feel it. It’s a calling on an energetic level. You definitely have customers and an audience out there. Just go for it, do what you truly want to do, and they will come. This is your purpose. The reason you feel the calling is because the world needs you. Only you can do it in your own way.

When you have a passion and you follow it, your vision will come true. It’s only you who can tap into that vision of the future in order to fuel yourself with hope and keep pushing forward. If you’re already walking your path, chasing your dream, please know that it’s coming.

However, unlike in movies or books, everything in real life takes time. It takes effort, consistency, and persistence to make things happen. In order to get things off the ground, you need hard work and also a little bit of luck. But I believe luck is just opportunity showing up when you’re fully prepared. So you better prepare for that moment, because when the world finally pays attention to you, you want to be the highest version of yourself, not someone who is still trying to figure things out.

This process of working and chasing your dream can take a long time, even a lifetime, so don’t rush it. Your dream will come when you’re ready. Just keep working on it.

We’re incredibly blessed in this lifetime because we have the internet. We can connect with people all over the world, and we can find our tribe. Just imagine 100 years ago, if a girl in Vietnam wanted to become the world’s best author, it could have been impossible. That girl might not have spoken English, and she couldn’t reach people in America by shipping her writing to them. She could have died alone, knowing her dream might never come true.

However, look at me now, writing to you guys across continents. I feel blessed. And you, if you want to be a musician, an actress, or if you want to learn French, you already have all the tools you need to reach that dream of yours. Please don’t be afraid of anything. Don’t talk yourself down, and don’t wait for the perfect moment. Just get up and start right now.

You have no idea how fortunate you are compared to people in the past. More than ever, this is the time when every single one of us can make our dreams come true. The world is your oyster.

3. It’s so much faster if you have technic and learn from people.

Although passion alone is enough to help you reach your vision, having the right techniques can shorten the process.

Whatever you want to do, there are people who have done it before you. Someone else was once a beginner too. They’ve tried everything, and they know what works and what doesn’t. You can speed up your process by applying their methods and taking their advice.

For example, with YouTube, I actually could have grown my channel much faster if I had followed my boyfriend’s plan from the beginning. Instead of taking two years to reach 25,000 subscribers, I could have reached that number in a month, and I actually did it later on. Having someone teach you how to do the job can significantly speed up your progress. You don’t need to waste time on tiny issues, which gives you more time to focus on what truly matters: your product and the message you want to share with the world.

Algorithms are a game. You can increase your chances of being seen through tactics, by showing your art and your face as much as possible. This includes talking to people and failing. They might look down on you, but just get over it. When you first start, no one cares about you. Your tweets get zero likes, your videos get zero views, you sell nothing, and that’s okay. That’s normal. Just keep going. The more you put yourself out there, the higher your chances of being seen, and eventually your time will come.

Depending on your dream, sometimes passion alone is not enough if you don’t acquire the tools to make it happen. If you want to be a musician, it’s important to learn music theory and play an instrument. If you want to become globally famous, English is essential. If you want to be a YouTuber, you need editing skills.

In this day and age, it’s almost impossible to become successful just by humming the songs you write in your head and hoping people notice your talent, or by speaking broken English while wishing someone will understand your message. Unless you’re incredibly lucky, that probably won’t happen.

When you first start your project, it’s better to have techniques, a plan, or even someone to guide you. This is a way of showing respect for your work. It means you’re serious about it. If you stubbornly insist on doing everything your own way, you only make the process longer. Wasting your time means the people who need your product or your words can’t reach them.

By doing everything your way when you know nothing yet, you’re being selfish. You don’t respect your art or your product because you don’t allow it to be seen. If something is beautiful, it deserves to be appreciated. So lower your ego and learn from others. If they’re successful in the field you’re in, then there’s value in doing things their way, because it already works.

Following others doesn’t mean you have to stick with them forever. You simply use their methods for as long as they work, then improve from there. After you learn the basics and become fluent, you can create your own way of doing things, your own style. This is where you add your personal touch to the product, where you can truly be creative.

You just need a good foundation first, and it’s much quicker and easier to build one with the help of people or techniques that have already been proven to work. You don’t have to start alone. There are always people and teachers willing to help. However, when the time comes, it will still be only you who can move forward with your vision.

Sometimes, you don’t need to completely agree with someone 100% in order to follow their advice. You can listen to them only about the things they’re good at and leave the rest behind.

For example, when I started my online business, I followed a guy who talked about that topic. He was heavily focused on making profit and being productive, which was a little too much for me. I’m more on the relaxed side, the type of person who lets life unfold naturally, and it seemed like our spiritual beliefs weren’t truly aligned. However, I still followed his advice on growing an online business because he was successful at it, and he knew what he was doing. I trusted him in that area.

You can follow people’s techniques in the areas where they excel and ignore the rest.

4. Knowing yourself, having standard and boudaries.

In life, if you can’t do something, if you feel miserable doing it, then it’s not for you. Just quit and find another way. You don’t have to follow a method just because it’s popular. If something doesn’t work for you, leave it behind.

Each person has different standards. We’re built differently, so your tolerance for one thing will be different from mine. I can’t drink alcohol, and I never drink on any occasion, so if a job requires me to drink, I quit. I have to do something I love, trust, and believe in, something I find meaningful and useful. So if a job can’t reach that standard, I quit, even if it makes a lot of money.

Once you’ve set your boundaries, once you know what you want and what lines you would never cross, then you can move forward in your own way. You learn from others, but you stay firm in your values. If someone or their teachings cross the line, you step back and find another way, another teacher who aligns more with your mindset.

Keep going until you hit a wall, until you see no other way forward without crossing your moral boundaries. Then it’s time to improve. It’s time to create a new way of doing things. It’s time to become your own teacher and develop your own techniques. You can become the first person to do it your way, and you pave the path for the next generation to follow. Then they create new paths from your teachings.

This is how you leave a legacy in the world: by following your passion and doing it your way. By making your vision become reality.

Is having children the only way to leave a legacy?

You must know who you are and what you truly want. You must know your dream and understand what it takes to achieve it. Know what is important to you and fight for it.

If your style, your art, and your authenticity are your priorities, then you can do things your way and leave the rest in the hands of the Universe. If you need money to survive, if you want your art to reach more people, if spreading your message or gaining traffic is more important, then you may have to do things the way other people are doing them. The audience is already familiar with a certain style, and you have to reach them there first before expanding into new territory.

In conclusion, when you’re a beginner, you follow the rules. When you hit the wall, you break free and create your own techniques. You do what works for you, and that’s when you truly win.

In the end, you’re the one living your life, and deep in your heart, you know what is right and wrong for you. When something is wrong, your heart will tell you. It will keep torturing you until you find another way to navigate life.

You should follow what you love, what makes you feel that spark when you imagine yourself in that position. Who are you? Who do you want to be? Only you know. Listening to others can help you through part of the journey, but not all of it. Each person has a different purpose in life, and only you can fulfill yours.

You will receive helping hands along the way if you are open to accepting them, but in the end, it’s still you who can make your dream happen. Listen to advice with intention, choose carefully, and learn along the way. You’ll be fine.