I saw a dog die in front of me this morning. It was a small poodle. I was riding my motorbike when he ran on the street, more like an alley, really. He looked so happy and energetic. He saw me coming and turned right to avoid me, but there was a car right behind him. In that moment, I knew something was wrong. I stopped my motorbike and looked back. The car kept moving, but I saw him lying there in a pool of blood, he had just been run over. His little mouth was still breathing, his head moving slightly. Another guy came over and told me the dog would die because his skull was crushed. By that time, his owners showed up. I heard the girl scream. The guy tried to pick him up, but he was no longer breathing, his neck was broken. I knew he was gone.

Witnessing the whole situation left an indescribable feeling in me. I’ve felt so sad. I can still see the scene vividly, how he was lying there covered in blood, how he took his last breath, and the heartbreaking cries of his owners. It’s still haunting me. I just want to cry. It was horrible. I’m sorry for walking you through all of this, I just needed to talk to someone and let this emotion out of my heart. I feel like I can’t breathe.

People and animals die every day for various reasons: war, disease, accidents, natural causes. But why do we react differently to these deaths? When you turn on the TV and watch the news, you hear about wars in Gaza, bombings in Iran, Israel, Palestine. Every once in a while, somewhere on Earth, people suffer from earthquakes, tsunamis, pandemics, and you see statistics showing how many people have died in those situations. In those moments, you sigh and say, “What a horrible circumstance, those poor people,” and then you move on with your day.

However, if someone in your neighborhood, a coworker, a casual friend, an acquaintance, passes away, you feel something deeper. You feel the impermanence of life. Someone you just said hi to yesterday no longer exists. A life has passed, and a body has returned to the earth. But what if the person who passed away was someone you truly love, someone you can’t imagine your life without? Your parents, your children, your spouse, even a beloved pet. Then the feeling is completely different. It’s devastating. It feels like your world is ending, like every drop of happiness is being drained from your life, and you’re not sure you’ll ever feel the same again.

The essence of life is impermanence. People are born and die every second, all over the world, for countless reasons. This is natural. It’s the law of the universe, a part of being human. You were born into this life, and one day, you will die. There is no other way. Life and death are two sides of the same coin; they go hand in hand. We understand this when strangers on the other side of the world die. We offer comfort when others face loss. But when it happens to us, when we lose someone we love, we seem to forget this truth. We can’t imagine a life without them, and so we grieve.

The difference between someone you barely know and someone close to you is the level of attachment. One is the person you say hi to every time you see them at the park; the other is someone you’re with all the time, someone your happiness depends on. When a person leaves your life, they leave behind an empty space. If they once made up a large part of your life, the emptiness you feel will be enormous, and the pain that comes with it can feel unbearable. That emptiness takes time to fill. Your grief will be longer, lonelier, and harder to face. But if it’s just an acquaintance, you might spend a moment mourning and then move on. They only held a small place in your life, so that space can be filled more easily by others.

Technically, all deaths are the same. People are born, and then they die. The reasons may differ, but the arc of life is similar. When we truly understand the impermanence of life, we begin to accept death more easily, the death of those around us, and eventually, our own. You’re allowed to feel sad. You’re allowed to grieve, to take the time you need. But after that, life continues. You return to your daily rhythm, meet new people, and keep living. Your emotions are valid, just don’t let yourself drown in them for too long, or you may forget the people who are still here, who still care about you. So you get up, gather yourself, and keep going.

Do not feel guilty for living your life happily after the death of a loved one. When you continue living, you’re also carrying a part of them with you. When someone comes into our lives, they bring lessons. In some way, they are meant to change us. How you learn those lessons may vary, but somehow, they leave you with their energy. A conversation, a hug, a piece of advice, years spent together, or even a brief encounter, can leave a lasting imprint on your inner world. By knowing them, you are changed. A part of their energy stays within you. And as you keep going, you carry that energy into the world. In a way, that’s how the people we love continue to live on, even after they’re gone.

I’ve come to realize that when someone reacts very intensely to the death of a loved one, it can sometimes mean there are still lessons left unlearned. It could be a lesson in unconditional love, in devotion, in humility, or in giving without expecting anything in return. Each relationship is different. When you didn’t love someone wholeheartedly, when you didn’t give them what they deserved, and deep down, you know it, when you didn’t fully express your love, their absence can hit even harder. In those moments, too many emotions rise at once, overwhelming you. You don’t know what to do or what to feel, you just break down.

But if you give yourself time, and you become still enough to observe, you begin to see each emotion more clearly: the guilt over things you wish you had done differently, the regret of an unsaid goodbye, unspoken love, unresolved misunderstandings. Nothing makes sense anymore once that person is gone. And for many, it’s this wave of guilt and regret that cuts the deepest.

On the other hand, there are many cases where a person appears calm and serene in the face of a loved one’s death. They might not even cry. They accept condolences with quiet awareness and continue living their lives with a sense of steadiness. Often, these are the people who carry little to no regret. Whatever needed to be said or done, they’ve already done it. When their parents were still alive, they cared for them, showed love and gratitude for the gift of life, and took full responsibility as a devoted child. By the time their parents leave this world, there is a sense of completion. Of course, they still feel sadness, but deep down, they know they did everything they could. Their loved ones were able to leave in peace. And this doesn’t apply only to parents, it’s true for any close relationship.

When you treat people wholeheartedly, there is a kind of peace that remains even after they’re gone. Life is unpredictable, we never know when our last moment with someone will be. I’ve seen people who know they don’t have much time left, and in a way, they are fortunate. There is time to prepare, to say what needs to be said, to show love, to give, to be present. But most of us don’t have that certainty. We don’t know when death will come. And so, we delay. We tell ourselves there’s always tomorrow, we’ll make that call later, we’ll say sorry another time, we’ll plan that meeting next weekend.

But sometimes, that “later” never comes. And there is no pain, no difficult conversation, no uncomfortable apology that hurts as deeply as an unsaid goodbye, an unspoken “I love you,” or an unresolved misunderstanding. When the chance is gone, it’s gone for good.

My dad passed away when I was 18. He was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, and he passed away after six months. At that time, I was studying in another city. I was young and ignorant, and I didn’t want to take care of a sick person, so I usually made up excuses not to come home. I barely stayed at home, most of the time, it was my mom and my sister who took care of him.

I still remember one time when I was home for the weekend. Before I left, an idea crossed my mind: I should hug him, give him a kiss, and tell him I love him. But then I pushed it away and told myself I would do it the next time I came home. But let me tell you, that next time never happened. My dad passed away before I had a chance to tell him I love him. For a very long time, that guilt haunted me, tortured me, making me feel like such a bad daughter. It took me a long time to get over that feeling, but it also taught me a hard lesson about appreciating the people around me and the life I have at the moment.

Now I know I have nothing to lose and no time to waste. I tell my loved ones I love them as often as I can. I never go to sleep with unresolved anger. I always say sorry, even when I feel like I did nothing wrong. When I meet someone new, I try to be honest and sincere. I offer a helping hand if I can. I want to leave something with them, it could be a compliment, a hug, a little money if they need it, buying their product, giving them a word of encouragement, or reminding them of the beauty of life.

I hope that with everyone I encounter, even if it’s just for a moment, I can bring them a small piece of happiness, something to brighten their day. Because who knows, it could be their last moment on earth. And if something unfortunate happens, they can leave this life with a sense of peace, knowing that they were loved.

Just live every day as if it were the last day of your life, as if you have nothing to lose, as if nothing limits you. Tell people you love them. Tell them as often as you can, even to the point of being a little silly. Treat the people in your life with kindness. Help brighten their day, help them if you can.

By living like that, you’ll have no regrets, and you’ll welcome death like an old friend. Even your own death, you’ll see it as something light, something easy, like it’s simply time to go. You’ll learn to accept every kind of farewell in this life, not just death, but the end of a relationship, the end of a job. You won’t take life too seriously, because people come and go, things come and go.

Your grandkid breaks a rare collection, it’s okay, maybe it’s time for that collection to go. Your husband cheats on you? That’s okay, maybe it’s the beginning of a new life. Your pet passes away, it’s okay, maybe he’s in a better place now.

This blog opens with a tragic story. I felt so sad, and I needed to pour my heart out. This is something I’m writing for myself, as I work through the unresolved emotions from what I witnessed. Looking at the situation from a different perspective, maybe it was simply that lovely dog’s time to go. If you, or anyone, believes in reincarnation and the afterlife, perhaps he’s in heaven now. Or, according to Buddhism, he may have been reborn as a human being, already living a better life. Being hit by a car was horrible, but as a dog, he would have passed away someday anyway. Why couldn’t it have been today, this morning? Wherever he is now, I hope he’s living well, and that he knows his owners loved him deeply and will never forget him.

I just want to give my cat a hug, because he’s still here with me. And you, whoever you are, if you’re reading this, let’s try a small piece of homework: express your love to someone around you. Tell them you love them. Give them a hug. Be happy that they’re still here with you. Be grateful for their presence. The first time might feel a little awkward, but it will get easier. Then you can take on a bigger challenge: express your love every day, to everyone, as if today were your last.